Written on July 21st, 2013
Ouch! I had no warning I’d be getting it today, but I knew that I’d be getting it. He would never forget about a promised punishment. Right now my butt alternates between burning and throbbing, except when it does both at the same time. This wasn’t a typical punishment.
He was reading my draft about him on WordPress. (He can read drafts because he logs into my account.) He said that while he was reading I should take my belt and brush to the restroom. I felt the grip upon me again (It was of joy, fear, security, warmth, and desire. The fear made me beg “Oh… Noooo… Please.” I was turned on with being told how u lucky I was that his friends had left. The desire made me gasp. I clutched my blanket for comfort. I did as I was told.
We couldn’t get Yahoo video working so we went back to Skype. As is customary I was scolded. He asked why I was going to be punished. I said because I was late eating breakfast. He asked why it would be a double punishment. I said it was because I had misbehaved during the 4 day probation he had (so graciously) given me (instead of a spanking). He asked how many an eating punishment was. I said I don’t know, but he told me to guess. I remembered that I had previously gotten 25 strokes for it, so I said 25. He said it would be double that. I whined as I thought that he’d break me with 50. I wondered what if I’d said 10. Or maybe 50. He made me earn this punishment by distracting me from eating before 11am and it was automatically doubled. If I wasn’t looking forward to another lesson I’d have protested that he trapped me on purpose, but instead was surprised and amused that he managed to do it.
I was already on my knees and he had me face the wall so he could see my butt. Then he started the count. I had waited so long for this punishment that I was unusually hesitant to start. I was punished for hesitating by him remaining on the first count for an extra stroke. I often take some time to get started, it’s like I’m not ready for it and have to force myself to submit. I think about how I don’t want it, but how much I need it. And eventually if I can’t submit then I merely obey and submission comes later.
I always start on my left side because it’s easier to endure. At 25 he said to switch and I whined again because it hurts so much more on the other side. I whine because my punishment increases every time I say “no” so I clamp my mouth shut and hum it in a tortured manner. That side began aching fast. At 20 I encouraged myself that it was almost done, but it. wasn’t.. 25 more. This time was different. He told me be was counting in his head. Then he started telling me how I deserved to be spanked and it turned me on, causing me to moan with desire. When he said to switch to the right side he told me to play with my clit. Ummm… I had to ask him to repeat that, I wasn’t sure I heard correctly. I did as I was told while striking myself. It resulted in me striking myself 25% harder and moaning. I assume it was 25, when he spoke again. He asked if that was the end. I said yes. I was told to strike myself. After I’d done so he asked again. I said, “yes, sir.” He said I was wrong and of course I whined again. Starting on the left side I had to administer 10 strokes on that side and then the other.
It was over (or so I thought) and the only reason I wasn’t close to breaking again was because of switching sides instead of taking it all at once like Monday’s experience. He then told me to caress my butt, I’d never experienced such pain from such a light touch. He asked if it was painful. I said yes. He told me to spank my self with my hand. I assume it wasn’t hard enough because he had me do it twice more. Then he instructed me to face him and sit down. Why does he have to be so cruel? He told me he wanted me to spank my clit with the brush. It was shocking. I protetested with the usual reluctant whine in addition to saying “nooo”. He asked me to repeat what I’d said and I said, “nothing.” He told me to spank myself. I flinched and said, “shit!” under my breath. He didn’t specify how to do it so I smacked my clit with the brush. He asked why I’d been punished. I said because I’d neglected to address him correctly, as “Sir”. Then again he told me to spank myself and I was confused about what I’d done wrong, so I asked “why” He said that he wanted to hear me moan. I did as I was told and he said not to stop. I don’t know how many strokes it was, (I’d guess around 30) but I moaned nearly every time from the painful, yet pleasurable shock waves that went through me. I think I had an orgasm but it’s hard to tell with the painful orgasm types, I don’t like them. I shook mostly from pain. Although, some good cues are that I almost always close my legs during an orgasm and my body shakes very noticably. The brush became wet merely from touching me because I was soaked. At that point circumstances urged us to end the call without our mutual pleasure. He gave me permission to go. I said, Thank you. I love double meanings, it felt good to finally say that, like a fantasy had come true. But him having read everything I write means that he knows everything that goes through my head (including my fantasies). So he asked what I was thanking him for. It’s so embarrassing that he wanted me to say it. I said, “I don’t know what to say to that.” He asked if it was for letting me go or for spanking me. It was for both. I replied only, “Yes.” He said the words he expected me to say and I felt bashful. I repeated, “Thank you for spanking me.” He wanted me to repeat another and so I repeated, “Thank you for making me learn my lesson.” He then said that I could go. I asked if we could continue messaging, but he said he had to go to sleep. He asked if I understood. I had just been punished, I could have understood alot of things right then that I might otherwise not understand. I was of course disappointed, but I was fulfilled and content again.
I think that I should have requested another attitude adjustment for my earlier mood in his absence, because I was spanked for not eating on time, my mood is still declining because it hasn’t been addressed. I don’t really know if my spanking was for pain or pleasure. Maybe it was for my pain and his pleasure. Lol. I really love that he can enjoy it, I don’t want it to be a chore, because I need it. I eat at least twice a day now instead of once, but he punishes me everytime I don’t have 3 meals (despite my improvement) and makes sure I’m sorry for any rule I fail to follow. He never stops until I’m sorry and the punishment increases until I am. I am grateful for his strength an determination.