My heart aches, maybe in 3 places. First, i was pretty crazy today and rg got into trouble for her part (and maybe some behavior i don’t know about). So her Dom wasn’t happy with either of us.
Continue reading “Heartbroken x3”
Is it wrong to say that my friend’s world is my world? Or maybe at some point we created a new world and moved onto that one. Or maybe our worlds are so close together that anything hitting her world also affects mine. i don’t know how to put it, but i do know that we faced destruction, i call it the apocalypse.
Continue reading “Post Apocalyptic World”
i stayed up all night last night to finish a blog entry. i felt like i needed to finish the entry. The progress on it was going so slow that i feared i would never finish it. i’m writing this because i’m waiting for the punishment, because none of my friends are online. i’m writing this because i’d like to calm down. i think to myself “Breathe!” It isn’t working. It’s not like i’m doing CPR on myself. i hope i don’t need CPR because i don’t know how to perform it. i can try mimicking what i’ve seen on tv, though. you tilt someone’s head back and stick your finger in the back of their throat for some reason. Or maybe you see if they have a pulse first. Oh. i need to know if the person is breathing. At some point i check for a heartbeat. If there’s no breathing or heartbeat, the person is dead and i walk away, does it matter if they still have a pulse? Oh nevermind. The point is that i don’t yet need CPR.
Continue reading “i Confessed i had a Late Night”
My road from complete independence to submission.. imagine coasting down a smooth hill on your bike feeling the breeze on a hot day. (Doesn’t that sound nice? Well.. wake up!). i can’t speak about anyone else’s road but mine. i should call it a rollercoaster rather than a road, it twists, it turns to get around obstacles, loops backwards extremely fast and yet moves forward so slow that it needs those loops to build any speed to get anywhere. But maybe you don’t know what i’m talking about.
Continue reading “Road (Rollercoaster) to Submission”
i put my collar on for the first time yesterday morning and i had it on all day. Continue reading “It’s Not a Dog Collar (Assignment?)”
i know that i haven’t blogged in days, i’ve been emotionally occupied and anything i would have written would have been hollow. When you are hurting emotionally or even physically and people offer advice… i’m going to tell you… it’s infuriating, sometimes even insulting. Do they think that you are so incapable of thought that you couldn’t think of that yourself?
Continue reading “Breaking Point (The Apocalypse)”
i have never liked to be touched. My mother only hugged her boyfriends and my father was absent for 10 years.
Continue reading “An Effect of Touch (Assignment)”