i know that a have some impulses. i’m not proud of them, i even wish i could control them, but it seems all i can do is remember them and how much danger i was in. Continue reading “Impulses”
Is it wrong to say that my friend’s world is my world? Or maybe at some point we created a new world and moved onto that one. Or maybe our worlds are so close together that anything hitting her world also affects mine. i don’t know how to put it, but i do know that we faced destruction, i call it the apocalypse.
Continue reading “Post Apocalyptic World”
My road from complete independence to submission.. imagine coasting down a smooth hill on your bike feeling the breeze on a hot day. (Doesn’t that sound nice? Well.. wake up!). i can’t speak about anyone else’s road but mine. i should call it a rollercoaster rather than a road, it twists, it turns to get around obstacles, loops backwards extremely fast and yet moves forward so slow that it needs those loops to build any speed to get anywhere. But maybe you don’t know what i’m talking about.
Continue reading “Road (Rollercoaster) to Submission”
i put my collar on for the first time yesterday morning and i had it on all day. Continue reading “It’s Not a Dog Collar (Assignment?)”
i know that i haven’t blogged in days, i’ve been emotionally occupied and anything i would have written would have been hollow. When you are hurting emotionally or even physically and people offer advice… i’m going to tell you… it’s infuriating, sometimes even insulting. Do they think that you are so incapable of thought that you couldn’t think of that yourself?
Continue reading “Breaking Point (The Apocalypse)”
i have never liked to be touched. My mother only hugged her boyfriends and my father was absent for 10 years.
Continue reading “An Effect of Touch (Assignment)”
i was told to write an essay about my friend’s essay. i only do this because it’s an assignment. This is the first situation in my life in which there have ever been punishments for not doing assignments. It’s hard to write a response to her essay because i agree with it and see nothing to dispute, so i guess i’ll just be nodding my head in silence. If i have typos please let me know as i occasionally type with my eyes closed during some tired or thoughtful moments.
Continue reading “This is Real (Assignment)”
This is not difficult, this is painful. This is not painful, this is difficult. And yet it is neither. i need to apologize to all my friends for causing them to worry. A situation that isn’t dangerous to a normal person might be dangerous for me. i’m not too safe when out alone, but i don’t always realize it. Continue reading “i Didn’t Realize… i’m Sorry”
Indescribable. i have no idea what i feel or what i should feel. i feel good, i feel motivated, i feel confident, and about 10 other things i have yet to identify. (Maybe safe, warm, loved, vibrant, content… at least 5 more to figure out). Continue reading “The Intervention (Also on Ep)”
It was 3am, but i woke up needing to write. i hope that my Master will forgive me for being up too early. i could be in trouble, but i have OCD and i assume it’s harder for me than the average person (but I really don’t know). Continue reading “Maybe Obsessive Compulsive (Report)”