Because He’s Defined her

6-29-15
If you ever wondered why she’s not willing to let go of her former Dom, here’s why:

(Lyrics at the end)

He was concerned about her safety on the street because she can’t control her impulse to talk to any man that talks to her and to go with them to watch them cum, she has wondered how they know her weakness. she knows that it’s dangerous, but she goes into a trance-like state and can’t get out. He’s made her see that maybe she can do what seems impossible and control it. she loves when he says he’s proud of her. It’s always one of the highlights of her day, she knows she’s done a good job, that she was obedient, and that she’s pleased her Sir. she’s confessed many times to be in the progress of having an inappropriate conversation, he’s instructed her on how to handle it or has intervened, she appreciates his help, even when it sometimes involves a punishment. He tells her that he’s missed her and that he’s thought of her. When she’s down on herself he tells her that she’s a great sub and to not say that she’s a terrible sub again.

The thought of needles and blood makes her feel weak, but he insists that she check her blood sugar and she does. she knows he expects to know what her morning sugar level is. When her husband came in and said he’d been in a car accident, he told her what to say and do, she did as she was told. she hasn’t understood her recurring hypoglycemic episodes, because she’s not diabetic, but he’s had her to research it and to tell him what she’s learned. Despite her flaws he saw her and accepted her when she never thought that was possible. He taught her that she could be better than she was. When he’s there she always feels that she can do better. her confidence is because he’s been there and so is her new ability to relate to people in her real life.

He told her that she wasn’t allowed on Skype with anyone, that she wasn’t allowed to add anyone, or talk to anyone outside of EP. she had the freedom to tell people “No.” and it was because she wasn’t allowed, she knew that Skype has been a weakness where she felt compelled to watch men cum and that other places were bad for her as well. He released her, but he never stopped talking to her, he never blocked her, and he never truly abandoned her. He’d been cruel to her and she wondered why he was still there, but he was there. she really needed him and asked him to call her. she didn’t think he would, but he did call and he was still hostile, but he called when she needed him to and she needed to hear his voice, even though she felt like she’d been scolded for the entire 55 minutes and he wasn’t listening to her. He said that he loves her and that means alot to her, it makes her feel warm and she’s been able to share some of that with others. Any day that she doesn’t talk to him is a bad day because she hadn’t talked to him, but any bad day is better because of him. When he used to claim her there was no better feeling in this world. she felt that again today when he was talking to a friendly neighborhood Dom and referred to her as “my sweet rose”. she was elated about that, but it can’t be described in a mere few sentences (should it be a blog entry?) He’s the only one that really knows what she’s been through and what she’s going through. she felt insulted when he told her it was time to get over being molested, but he didn’t just say it, he helped her. He instructed her to caress her breasts everyday and she’s improved greatly, she even enjoys having her breasts touched now and she was never able to enjoy that before. she’s done so much better with him. When she thinks that she can’t endure, he’s right there with her. When he’s firm with her she feels comforted, accepted, loved, cared for, and secure, not oppressed.

He gives her the strength to say that she won’t Skype or message people. If it were her own choice, she would and she knows that’s not a good choice, but she wasn’t able to make another choice until he told her what to do. she’s been told by guys to deceive him or just not tell him and she can’t do that (it literally wouldn’t work). He tells her who she’s allowed to add as a friend as he checks profiles and makes determinations she’s not able to make. When she’s sad, has an attitude, and when she feels bad, he’s there to talk her through it or to call her on the phone to scold her. she always wants to behave, but sometimes she disappoints herself. she is better from his discipline and when he says that she’s forgiven, she feels good again, only better. she has struggled with certain things, but she has gotten better because he never gave up on her and he wouldn’t let her fail.

she can’t imagine a day without him. He keeps her stable and he knows what she needs. He doesn’t think she’s weird or broken. she feels perfect with him even when she’s done something wrong and she knows that he will make it right. she’s improved in how she deals with everyday situations. she doesn’t do video sex with strangers anymore. she doesn’t do sexual roleplay with strangers for hours a day anymore. she behaves alot better than before meeting him. she’s under control and he controls her ocd. she thought that there is no such thing as love, but now she knows what it’s like to be loved and to love.

her husband doesn’t know how to love her. she’s given up trying to show him, mainly because she’s learned that he’s not listening and because he’s rejected her submission. Maybe she was okay with that when she thought it was only a part of her, but now it IS her and that means her husband doesn’t want her. He says he’s listening to her, but he always says that he will never change and so he’s not capable of providing the love she needs. she loves her former Dom/Mentor, he provides what she needs and she’s made massive improvements because of him. Things are even better now because he’s been more firm with her. she hopes to always have him and she hopes he will claim her so that she doesn’t have to leave.

“Because You Loved Me” lyrics:

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

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Because He’s Defined her

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