Reconciliation – Day 7 (Precautions)

August 7th, 2013
My husband stirred at exactly 7:30 and I said “time to get up”,  but I was sure he was getting up anyway. I had been up since maybe 6:50. He got up to get ready to go. I struggled between what I wanted to do, felt I should do, and what I felt like doing.

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Reconciliation – Day 7 (Precautions)

Reconciliation- Day 6 (Therapy)

August 6th, 2013
It was close to 6:30. I answered a text I received from my sister last night.  She asked what I was doing up so early.

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Reconciliation- Day 6 (Therapy)

Reconciliation- Day 5 (Sulking)

August 5th, 2013
I awoke late. It was about 7am. I’m in the country, but failure to buy a rooster probably isn’t an excuse. I am sure I would have been up before sunrise if my mind wasn’t so active last night or if I got a dose of love from my husband.

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Reconciliation- Day 5 (Sulking)

Reconciliation- Day 4 (Shot Down)

August 4, 2013
I felt light in the room and awoke, it was a little after 6am. I added a few more details to yesterday’s entry and posted it as my husband  was being nosy. He asked what the kids were going to eat. The cereal was all gone. I said, “I don’t know..  Pancakes?”  He said, “Yeah! Make me some pancakes and sausage!” I said, “no no no.”

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Reconciliation- Day 4 (Shot Down)

Reconciliation- Day 1 (Arrival)

August 1st, 2013
My husband arrived around 4pm. He walked in because the door was unlocked. I was cleaning the freezer. I dropped what I was doing and hugged him with my arms around his neck. We took all our 5 kids and went to Ruby Tuesday. I wanted nothing off that menu and everything was too expensive to pick something I was almost sure I wouldn’t like.

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Reconciliation- Day 1 (Arrival)

Started as a Crush

 Before I ever saw him I had an instant crush like I was drawn to him, but I made no move. I argued with myself about approaching him and logic won. He was obviously much older, probably married, likely not interested, and I had a boyfriend.
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Started as a Crush

Shaking with Fear

You know what’s scary? My husband is the only one I let get close to me. Now I’m tired of feeling vulnerable and I want to run so I can shut down my emotion and be alone for the rest of my life. He isn’t letting me run. He’s right there holding my hand.
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Shaking with Fear