Reconciliation – Day 57 (Attitude)

September 26th, 2013
When I’m asked a question I don’t like I say the first thing that pops into my head. The answer is what what I wish the answer could be or what I’d really like to do.

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Reconciliation – Day 57 (Attitude)

Reconciliation – Day 54 (Instructions)

September 23rd, 2013
We had an appointment to see a rental house today around 3pm. My husband called around 11:30 and told me to cancel because he had to meet someone at the agency. He told me not to forget, but I didn’t want to cancel. I was looking forward to seeing the place.

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Reconciliation – Day 54 (Instructions)

Reconciliation – Day 52 (Close to Tears)

September 21st, 2013
Today started off a good day. I could have written this yesterday, because I usually write about anything in the post of the previous day if it occurs before I get up for the day. This time I planned not to go back to sleep, I was up around 2am, not because I planned to be awake, I just wake up sometimes. I lay there trying to fall asleep again without even realizing that I was awake.

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Reconciliation – Day 52 (Close to Tears)

Reconciliation – Day 45 (Trying Not to Care)

My husband woke early and penetrated me from behind and when he came I went back to sleep. I played World of Warcraft when I woke up around 8am. We were supposed to meet Mr. Lazy to look at a house for rent, but he didn’t answer his phone.

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Reconciliation – Day 45 (Trying Not to Care)

Reconciliation – Day 44 (Failure)

(Hey, it’s Friday the 13th! I just noticed.) I guess this is a turning point. Is there a way back? I’d guess not. For the first time since my husband has been here he left the house without giving me a kiss. I’m alone, not that I mind being alone, but it kind of hurts when I’m upset and alone.

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Reconciliation – Day 44 (Failure)

Reconciliation – Day 43 (A Relaxing Threat)

September 12th, 2013
I was up at 4 am and couldn’t sleep. I got up and played World of Warcraft until 5:10 am, then I woke the slowest kid and my oldest son. I continued playing until 6:10 am and woke my oldest daughter. At 6:30 I  woke my 7 year old son and prepared his bath (everyone else takes showers). I discovered that for the second day in a row we had no hot water. Ugh. I was going to have to call the lazy maintenance man.

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Reconciliation – Day 43 (A Relaxing Threat)

Reconciliation – Day 42 (The Look)

September 11th, 2013
It was a rough day and I’m just doing a quick overview, because I don’t feel like going over it. Actually it wasn’t really rough, just inadequate. My husband and kids left in the morning as usual and they all returned at the usual time as I played World of Warcraft. My husband had been turning off the television as my therapist suggested and it just makes me nervous.

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Reconciliation – Day 42 (The Look)