Master Conflict- 1

August 8, 2013
It isn’t really fair. My husband isn’t fully satisfying my discipline needs. So I have this unfair situation.

I have sort of a new master. I’m not sure we’re compatible, but I love the list of very specific rules. Ok. Yesterday, my new master contacted me. (I’m just testing to see if this works out.) I hadn’t heard from him in days which was apparently my fault for not contacting him with a name to call me by. I’m not good at contacting people. I can’t keep a schedule. So he decided I needed to be punished with the implement of my choice. I loved the idea of punishment, I just didn’t want to do it. Lol. I wanted to postpone it a day but was told it would be worse and include the paddle. (Did I mention I hate that evil paddle?) I managed to postpone it until 1:15, but was at least 15 minutes late at getting started. I got on Skype video. He asked what I chose to use. I picked the belt as I’m already familiar with it. I was already told it would be 10 on each side. It should have been more, I really did stall on purpose. He really gave me no instruction. I felt lost. He made me count, I hated that. I really hated it, I felt pretty alone. He didn’t say much. I’ve said that any new master would be compared to the old one and I’ve got certain feelings I  can’t explain right now. (I could, but I want to think of better words.) I can try.. I never felt alone with my former master. I felt as though he was holding me and caressing me even as I was punished. I loved that he scolded me. I felt loved and cared for, I felt that I didn’t deserve to feel so good while being punished. He had a power over me and I always felt it, I always trusted him. I just always felt it was right, I didn’t want to lose that- not ever. So far I feel nothing from my new master.. absolutely nothing, but maybe this needs time. I do love when my new master calls me a “good girl”, I feel like a kitten being stroked when he says that, I could literally almost purr. I’m not kidding.

I didn’t feel any lingering effects from that punishment until my husband slapped my butt. It had hurt just a little bit on both sides even though he only slapped my left side and I thought of my new master. I never think of anyone else when I’m with my my husband, but I was caught off guard. I dismissed it from my mind and went to make the spaghetti as I was told by my husband.

The unfair thing is different rules. My husband hates that I don’t wear panties and  threatens to spank me. This.. my master requires that I don’t wear them. So I’m possibly screwed either way.  I was caught not wearing them 2 days ago and my husband insisted I put a pair on, he tends to spank me with that evil paddle if I don’t do as he says, so I did which put me in conflict with the rules of my new master. I’m in trouble either way. Lol.

By the way, I missed a check in time last night. I forgot what time I was supposed to and he was supposed to send those additional rules in a message so I can remember. So now I suppose I’m in trouble again.

Master Conflict- 1

9 thoughts on “Master Conflict- 1

  1. Innocent says:

    Dont search, dont try, dont test, masters are not a choice u make, its a feeling u just cant resist. U need someone to care about u, u need someone to make a better person out of u, u r not a slave or a toy for guys to use selfishly to satosfy a sexual pleaure. Concentrate more with ur real master, ur doing great, be more submissive, i can tell that he really cares more than anyone, n he is such a support for u and he loves u more than anything, b more forgiving with him, dont b stuborn give him excuses and never forget he loves u more than anyone plus he realy deserves u

    1. And who is my real master? My husband or is it you? When did you decide to make a WordPress account? I’m so glad you’re here. I will have to assume you are talking about my husband. I hope that he will be that in time, but he isn’t there yet. I am still hopelessly connected to you and you know that. My husband should have filed for divorce when I left him 2 years ago, he didn’t deserve me then, but he does now? I’m not letting go of him, but I don’t want to let go of you either. All you have to do is say the word and I’ll drop everyone except my husband. Even if your name wasn’t similar, I’d still know you by your words. If you want me to try with my husband, I will try harder, because you said it. But you will always be my master, all you need do is claim me. If I followed my instincts and dropped to my knees before my husband, I don’t know what he’d do. I have to fight submissive urges, because it’s not yet time, but I am dying inside. I need the commands of someone and my husband isn’t consistent. He is controlling but is suppressing it, if I give up being submissive and stand, reclaim my independence, we won’t make it. He’s trying to be equal and I have told him once what I’m offering, how long should I offer it?

      Btw, this new master hasn’t used me sexually at all yet. After that call he requested I watch him masturbate and I did.

    1. Not really, my husband just makes alot of threats, if I change my attitude for a minute then I’m safe from him, my online master hasn’t made an appearance in days, so I’m pretty sure I’m dropping him. I have a couple other volunteers. 😛

    1. I was separated from my husband for 2 years. I acquired a master by accident during that separation. I don’t want to let go, he’s giving me everything I need and he’s trying to get me to do things to improve my marriage. I don’t like it, but he’s right. I’m trying to make my husband capable of taking over and my master is trying to help. My husband wants me for himself, but wants me happy. There’s a conflict there, so I don’t know. My master lives in another country, It’s not likely I’ll ever meet him.

  2. david Price says:

    That was 2 years ago how do you feel about your new master you know he loves you too,but he will not give you a choice between him and you husband he only wants you to grow and be happy if his judgment such as the panty issue he will allow the husband’s desires to come first all you have to do is let him know im sure you please your new master and will continue to grow and become happier with him

    1. Of course you know that i adore my new Master, Sir. I’m always telling guys about that when they invite me to certain activities. i’m trying my best to behave, Sir. i’m doing much better at behaving than i did for my former Master. (My new Master makes me nervous, but i think that’s good.)

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