I’m a Whiner

It really is getting difficult to determine which is the most unbearable spanking I’ve ever had. I’ve never felt so out of control as I have over that Sunday and Monday. It had started Saturday night. I was spanked Monday morning and I know that I deserved it. I felt rejected by my husband and stopped caring. I had a very bad attitude, I didn’t discourage a sexual Conversation online, and I didn’t eat properly. It should be considered The worst one yet and I think it still is, but there was an embarrassing occurrence or two.

Monday my punishment was hard. I was told to face the wall and caress my butt over my panties and then to stick my hand in and caress it. Then he told me to remove them. I don’t know why I was surprised. It started with the brush and I whined. He said I had to have 20 Strokes. I said “with the brush?” There was no getting out of it. I had to do it. 20 on each side. After some of those strokes I wanted to rub the sting away, but didn’t. I don’t want to admit how much I hate the deep stinging of that brush because I don’t want to receive more of it. I’d burn the brush if I didn’t need it for doing my hair.  I was so glad when the 20 was finally over. Then he said 20 on my clit. I was horrified. I said “noooo” . He repeated the instruction and I said noo. He Said that the punishment would be tripled because I’d said no twice. I whined in protest, but didn’t dare say it again. When he said to begin I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to make it any worse so I started. The first 20 weren’t so bad and if could have been over, but no. He began the count over again by the time 20 was reached a second time my clit was getting sore. When he began the count again I whined and hesitated waiting for mercy to come, but it didn’t. I continued as I was told and stopped at 15 as he said to do the last 5 fast. I whined and hesitated, but I did as he said. It’s effective while it’s happening, but pain in that area fades quickly and is forgotten quickly. Next I was instructed to cup my breast and spank it with the brush. I whined and shook my head, but did so at the threat of having my punishment increase. It was 20 on each side, but it just resulted in warmth and slight discomfort , so it wasn’t effective. Finally I was told to put the brush aside and take up the belt. I started on my left butt cheek as always. He hadn’t told me how many, but I continue until he says different. After 25 I started to hesitate and whine every 5 strokes. It’s unusual for him to exceed 25 and it’s never been more than 30. When he passed the count of 35 I was really starting to worry. It wasn’t possible to get any wetter than I was. I was aching with need. As he continued to count as I obeyed a stroke at a time I orgasmed at about 40. I know this because I felt the contractions inside and the need was satisfied, but I didn’t pause except to recover from surprisingly painful strokes. When he reached 50 I was told to switch sides. On to the dreaded left side. It is so much more painful than the right because I am right handed and the force required to make the belt reach all the way around results in more than just a louder crack upon my behind. I’d hoped that it wouldn’t be So many. Of course I hesitated more because I had more painful surprises. At 30 it became very difficult to continue, but I willed myself to do it. At 40 I was at my limit and my right leg began to shake with each stroke in agony, but my leg didn’t hurt except when the pain occasionally decided to spread from the point of contact. I Couldn’t take much more and at 45 I stopped for several seconds because I couldn’t endure more, but I continued only to avoid increasing the punishment. At 50 I was told to Face him and kneel. I clutched my night arm with my left for comfort. I couldn’t kneel at first and I knew that sitting would be impossible. I kneeled carefully and made sure not to sit upon my legs, which I’d almost done without thinking. He asked if I knew what I was punished for. I looked down at the floor. I didn’t want to answer for fear of being punished for not knowing. It was hard to think when all the blood was seemingly being redirected to my butt instead of my brain. He said that it wasn’t over. I whined and lowered my head to the floor. I said, “please,… no more.” He Said to use my hand and asked if my hand hurts me. Not only does it not hurt but I hate using my hand. It’s an awkward movement to do it which likely means less force and no pain. I answered, “No.” He told me 1 stroke with the beIt and I did so on my less sore left side. He asked again and I said, “No… SIR” . He told me to stand up and turn around to administer 20 fast with my hand on each side. It’s difficult to do it at all, but fast? I did the best I could. The left side actually felt a small amount of pain at the end from my weaker left hand. I was told to kneel with my belt. He counted 15 on my left side and told me to stand up. He counted 10 more and during those I orgasmed again. Then he instructed to switch sides and he counted 25 painful strokes. I was told to again face him and kneel. He asked if I was going to behave. He went through my list of infractions again. I was feeling Sure that I wouldn’t be so negative again because it incurred 100 strokes. I wasn’t sure that I’d do so well online with messages from men (it would be rude not to respond). I hesitated to answer before I said “Yes, sir” with uncertainty. He said to “stand up”. I looked shocked. He said that he had to be sure and he wasn’t sure. I Said, “noooo… no more” He asked, “What did you say?” I Said, “nothing, Sir” He counted the 25 on each side. If it didn’t sound painful enough he’d stay on the same number. Every stroke hurt, but I didn’t argue. I then had to kneel before him again and I looked at the floor. He asked if I would behave. I looked at him briefly and said, “Yes, sir” before returning my gaze to The floor. He asked what I had eaten the previous day. I didn’t want to answer the question, but I recounted the 2 meals that I had. I Was supposed to eat 3 and he’d dared me not to eat 3 times, but I hadn’t listened because I wasn’t in any mood to eat. I thought I had done well to eat twice because I hadn’t wanted to eat at all. I knew what was coming. I was told Stand up and face the wall. He counted 25 strokes on each side. This time I tried to avoid the heated areas and aimed lower to the highest point of my thighs. I got several extra strokes on both sides due to him thinking it wasn’t hard enough, but sometimes those silent strokes hurt more than anything else. I carefully kneeled before the camera again. He asked if I was going to eat . I hadn’t planned to, but I said, “yes, sir” and meant it. He asked What I planned to do. I said that I’d go to the store to pick up a few things and that I’d eat. He asked what I would buy and I told him my list of basics. He then asked what I wanted to do right then. I knew what he was asking but I wasn’t feeling the usual overwhelming desire. I was too ashamed to tell him that I’d already cum twice. I told him that I wanted to go to the store and asked if I may please go. He allowed me to end the call and go. The session had gone on for over an hour. Upon putting my panties and leggings back on, I felt it was a painful error. I went into my bedroom to lay on my bed, on my stomach of course. I felt that my attitude had improved, but I still wasn’t myself. I didn’t write anything, writing negatively is what caused the worst part of my punishment and I didn’t want more, but I couldn’t shake the mood and needed more. I couldn’t have known That I needed more during the time when all I wanted was for the punishment to end and I didn’t think that I could take any more either. My clit and butt were like fireplaces, but they weren’t burning any wood, just me.

This is my Count:
140 w/brush,100 effective (60 short term)
221 with belt, 201 effective
  40 with hand, 2 effective
401 strokes, 303 effective (60 short term )

When my husband has spanked me I can’t take more than 10-15 strokes without begging, but I can’t be any harder on myself. It’s mostly because of the angle, but also because I can’t bear to do it any harder. The harder I do it, the sloppier my aim and I don’t want to strike anything sensitive so I end up being able to take alot more punishment from myself.

I’m a Whiner

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